You know the feeling when you want to stay but you can’t? If you don’t know how it feels, try it sometimes. If you do, this feeling has been in my mind for about a week. I had to do what I need to do in Port Angeles. My job is done and I don’t have anything to do left. Now, I need to move on. But this place created a chain locked to my heart. My heart still does not want to go. What can I do? I guess I have the key to unlock that that chain. It’s all on me now.
This past year has been amazing. I have made a right decision by choosing Peninsula College as my next destination. Peninsula College is only a u-turn route on my journey. I supposed to redeem myself by getting good grades, and fortunately, I did it. I have finished my AA degree here with GPA that a lot more amusing than before. I did the best I could and my mission has accomplished. End? No. I did not do it by myself. Does not mean I was cheating all the time, no. Before I came to the peninsula, I was mentally damaged. My conscious mind was alright, but my heart was like a fish on dirt, no help. My super mom helped me to recover. She was the first person to help to get up. But her help was not enough, because when she left, I had to stand up by myself. At this time, my friends came to save me, especially International friends, specifically Indonesian friends. My first rule when I am settling to a new place, I need to find a community that has a similarity with me. Since I am an International students, I found my International friends. Since I am an Indonesian, I found my Indonesian friends. Since I am a Muslim, I tried to find a Muslim community but I could not find one, although some Indonesians here are Muslims. My rule works so well here. I got friends who were kind to me and also supported me to get what I need. I have never felt so free in my life. I always acted like I am tough or had no problem at all, but with them, I could showed my emotion, my craziness, or simply just me. I could be myself. I felt like I found a place to show who I am, and it feels good. Thank you to all my friends. You guys shaped me to who I am right now. You guys saved me from the deepest hole in my life so far, and successfully pulled me up to the surface where I can see my face proudly. I had no strength before I came here, and you guys gave me strength. I am sorry if I was a bit crazy, too much sometimes. I was just expressing my feeling that I am happy to be around with you guys. I am sorry too that sometimes became like Mr. know-it-all, but actually I don’t know much. I was just wanna help you guys so you won’t be in the same position as I used to be.
Thank you for all the memories. My mission in PA is done. It is hard to live this town and my friends. I need to unlock this chain lock that attach my heart and you guys. This chain lock is full with memories that you guys created for me. Can I keep this chain lock after I unlock it? I really wanna keep this chain lock and sometimes recall our memories. I wanna feel a nostalgic moment when I reimagine what we used to do together. I won’t lose this chain lock, and I will keep it. I guess I am ready to unlock it. Thank you so much guys. I will see you again some day.